she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
