I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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