my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
