He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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