Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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