Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
