Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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