I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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