every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
