He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
