yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
