I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize