i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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