wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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