one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
