R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
