We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
