He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
