I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
