Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
