Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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