Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
