we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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