Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
