I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I love you. Go after that dick
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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