i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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