i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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