just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
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Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm both gender and math confused
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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