I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
