Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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