I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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