just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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