I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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