3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize