im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
