If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
