She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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