you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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