i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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