I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
