i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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