she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I have aggressive nipples.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times