Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
do nipples grow back?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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