Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
