Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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