At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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