My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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