Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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