I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
