I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
