but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
