She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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