I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
vagina is talking i cant
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
