I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i dont even know how to be here
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
