Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
