So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
FUCK WHALES
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
