Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
