I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
