i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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