"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
