listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
