the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
