she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
