I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
